Siansations! All alone at home.. Hahs. Anyways, hubby came to stay over at my house on friday. Went to take neos at hougang mall. Damn funny. Its really wierd cos hubby is considered good looking, but whenever he takes neos, he looks funny. Perheps is because he DOESNT look at the camera and he likes to make faces. (-_______-") so cuteeeee! haha.. So after taking neos, pei hubby go smoke, than we bought mango milk tea den headed to wait for my sister and alan.

Went to eat zhu cao. Yum! Shared xian yu cao fan and green tea with hubby. Its so so yummy leh! haha. =x After eating, we headed to tampiness mall to watch movie. Watched 'The Wild'.. SO CUTE THE SHOW! I love the koala bear and the tortoise. Haha.. damn cute. After the movie, alan drove us one round ard orchard than fetched hubby home. Alan drove so fast and its so FUN! haha. Reached home den called hubby den ZZZ.. Hehs.. Love my laogong so muchies!

Hubby and me are gonna watch many movies! I wanna watch 'The ant bully' and 'Over the hedge'. Hubby wanna watch 'Mission impossible 3'. Actually, i hate to watch 'Mission impossible 3' this kinda shows. But i realised that whenever me and hubby wanna watch movie, i`ll make the decision of what show to watch. Last time, he wanted to watch the Jet Li movie but i didnt want to. =x Haha..And of all the movies we watched, the only movie that he wanna watch and i accompanied him is 'Tom Yum Goong' hehs, I`m damn bad i know. So now, Im definitely gonna watch tht movie with him. x) Okay laogong? =)

Anyways, im not afraid to say this in my blog. By saying im happy i`ve got my menses, the reason of me being happy is VERY obvious. So what if im no longer a virgin? Very amazing is it? Im not afraid to say so because almost all of my friends and my sister knows im not one and it doesnt matter if OUTSIDERS wanna judge me because they dont know what kinda person i am. At least im not one that goes out sleeping with other guys.Its true i lost it to him but thats not why we are still tgt. So fuck it, dont need to be so sarcastic by asking me why im happy tht i`ve got my menses. So sarcastic pls.. And btw jolynn, its obvious that its a fact i said im unhappy, but i didnt say he dont love me. I said i FEEL that he doesnt love me. How your ex treat you or wadever, its none of my buisness. Now im telling you that my bf treat me very good and i feel very loved.. so NO NEED TO WORRY SO MUCH.. and btw, thank you for tagging that my bf doesnt love me, because when he read what you tagged, his reaction showed me he loves me. and really la, dont be so sarcastic..so what if im not a virgin? So? Very amazing? Fuck la, now what century le? lols. At least im happy that i`ve lost it to someone i love. x) so stop being sarcastic. Hahs. Bye! Dont bother tagging because this is the last time i`ll reply you. Sayos!

Love you hubby! <3 Muacks

YAY YAY \(^-^)/ I got my menses! HAHA.. I know its crazy to get happy over getting menses but still.. YAY! haha.

Anyways, yesterday went home halfway in school because my stomach wasnt feeling well, i was tired and i didnt bring my english five year series. Hahs. So it was me and hubby`s One year one month yesterday but we didnt go anywhere because that PIG came over to my house, supposedly to accompany me to the doctor, BUT in the end, he ended up falling asleep. Such a pig! So when tht stupid pig woke up, we just watched TV til 10 and he went home. WHAT A 'HAPPY' DAY!

And now that stupid pig is happily eating some stupid steamboat at marina south, completely forgetting about ME,his GF. Argh, fuck. Its always like that anyways. Shall not care about him when i go out with my friends next time. Pfft... Cant stand it when im not with him because he treats me so so differently. When he meets me, i feel like his GF but when he doesnt, he treats me as though im not impt. AHHHH.. fucked up LOVE life. The way i talk about him may show he doesnt love me but its not for anyone to judge ehs? I may feel that he doesnt love me but it aint for you pple to judge because its what I feel and not what you feel. Afterall, even if he doenst love me, why is he still tgt with me? Hmms... haha. Wadeverrrrrr! Hubby says he isnt happy with what jolynn commented on my tagboard because he said she was talking rubbish and he loved me! x) Teeheehee. And he was really angry because i was talking to him on the phone when he read my blog the other time. Ahh.. wadever lahhh.. I`ve really got nothing to blog. And actually, not being that close to hubby may be good afterall.. HAHA. My exams are next next week. May god bless me. Hallelujah praise the lord! x)

Loves marcus laogong! <33

Teeheehee. So happy! Yesterday went to meet hubby at cineleisure, although we had a big quarrel ytd which made my cry like fuck but still hubby made me happy when i met him. =D Went to eat at kobayashi, the omelette noodle is very yummy but after eating like around half, you will feel like vomitting! haha. Got scolded by hubby because i didnt eat finish my noodles but yet i went to buy lotsa gummies! Haha.. I saw two nice tops from blossom yesterday and IM GONNA GET IT! =)

Hmms, just read finish all my previous posts and i have been thinking, maybe i really have over-reacted or i was too sensitive. Actually, i have focused too much on hubby`s bad points, whenever i type about his bad points, i can really type ALOT but whenever i talk about his good points, its very minimal. Have also just been thinking, there was once when i scolded hubby just because he didnt give send me many msges that day but the truth was because he was buying something for me. When he passed it to me the next morning, i was feeling so guilty for scolding him. He bought me 'Ralph Lauren' perfume, a perfume i aim at for very long le. I really feel very self-centred, he might not msg me alot this few days but yet i can make a big fuss out of it, why cant i think that he is just too busy? i have realised that whenever he takes very long to reply my msg, my mind would start to drift, thinking that he doenst want me anymore. He always tells me over and over again to trust that he loves me but yet i feel that he doesnt love me anymore just because his msges and calls gets lesser and i always feel that its okay for me to anyhow think because of the fact that he has left me once and before he left me, he totally gave me the cold shoulder and with just a msg in friendster, we were over and I ALWAYS FEEL ITS OKAY FOR ME TO FEEL THIS WAY but now thinking about it, i have really never cared about hubby much. I always think that im a lousy GF but its okay because he is a lousier bf. Come to think of it, from the time we patched til now, it has been 8+ months le, but he still hasnt done anything behind my back nor has he ever let me down before. In fact, IM the one that is lousy, i always want him to be the best, treat me very good but he has NEVER asked me for anything except to change my attitude but still, i havent changed my attitude at all. Hais, fuck it. x(

Hubby i love you. You cant leave me alrights? I know i have been a lousy GF. You`re not that bad afterall. Whenever you make me sad, you`ll make up for it. But whenever i make you angry or sad, i`ll never take the initiative to say sorry or hold your hands and i still die die want face when its me in the wrong. Laogong, as i`ve alrdy called you MY laogong, and you also call YOUR laopo le, i really hope we can be tgt til we officially get married. Teeheehee.. cannot leave me okay laogong? I love you lots! Muacks. x)

Fuck it okay, im damn angry! Today was suppose to meet hubby but because HE said he was tired and his stomach was pain, i decided not to meet him today so that he could go home and have a rest. But guess what? Now, he is playing DOTA and he played pool before that. Not bad, very tired somemore. Im was so fucking disappointed and sad when i called him and found out he was going to play DOTA. Fuck dota la ok, fuck everything in my life. When i heard he was playing DOTA, i got so angry that i actually cried. Why is he treating me this way? Fuck la, just so sick and tired of EVERYTHING!

Hubby,
I really dont know what i did to deserve all this shit from you. I have feelings okay, im a human too, before you do things, cant you at least fucking think of how i feel? In the first place, do you even treat me as your GF? You call me laopo but the way you treat me is far from how a husband would treat his wife.Nothing, really nothing can describe the great disappointment i have in you. I really missed you so bad, and i really wanted to see you so badly today, but because i felt bad that while you are having a stomach pain and feeling tired, you still had to tahan because you had to go out with me, thus i asked you to go home and rest. Seriously, now i feel they are all excuses! You claimed you were very tired and would go STRAIGHT home after daqiu finish school but yet, you have gone to play DOTA. If you didnt want to meet me, just say ok. No need to have so many excuses. Im really very very sad ok. I dont know what i am to you now. We have drifted and thats a fact. No use trying to tell me that i think too much because im not. Loving is something that we`re not. I keep telling myself that you still love me alot and im really trying to change. You want me keep long hair i keep, you want this i try to do. I know that it may not be obvious that im changing but at least im trying. What about you? You are really not the marcus i knew before. The marcus i knew before treated me very very well and showered me with alot of love but now, after being together with you for one year plus, you have totally changed. You go back on your words, you break your promises and you dont treat me like your GF. I know im very naggy and i always nag at you but i do that cause i care. I asked you just now if i didnt meet you, where will you go? You said home. I said 'Confirm go home?' and you said yes. Your school end at 4.30 today and now its 7.45pm but you still have not gone home. Whenever i ask you who is number one in your life, who is most important in your life, you would answer me. But now i know one thing is that what you say are all sweet nothings. You say them just to please me. If really, im the most impt in your life, you would have listened to me rather than your friends. Do you know how it fucking feels to be missing someone but yet you cant get to see the person? Its really very torturous. I gave up meeting you today so you could go home and rest but you took advantage of it. Everything is about your friends friends and friends. Your friend call you play one game, you sure its one game that you`re playing? I dont know but you know it yourself. Since your friends are so important, they call you go fuck one girl, you confirm go alrdy la. No need say what you got a GF. Got GF so what? Your GF is also one ugly fuck. I cant feel your love seriously. I`ve told you many times of how i feel, but are you changing for me? In the past, you said you didnt want to meet me so much, okay, i dont mind. Now we`re not meeting as much arent i? I ALWAYS have to accomodate to you, but are you accomodating me? I am trying so hard to cling on to this r/s of ours, but are you? Say it in another way, i am like a despo trying to stick to you. I know im not worthy of you, you`re so good looking and im so fugly but i really love you alot. If you still love me and had heard the sadness and disappointment in my voice just now, you wouldnt have gone to play DOTA anymore but i guess you didnt care? Im really very very sad. Hais.. Why cant you just think of me? Just once? I may be a very lousy GF but i really love and need you alot. I am not the kind of person to show out my love thats when i secretly liked you in the past, you never found out. I have loved you back than and i am still fucking in love with you. You can ask my friends around me, how much i talk about you. Whenever we take neoprints, i like to take out and show my friends to haolian to them how loving we are and how handsome my baby is. I may not be a good GF but i have always secretly stood by you all this while. I am really out of ideas of how to get back that wonderful love feeling i had back than. Pls tell me what to do? Hais.. I really miss the old you dear. ( ::'-':: )

Hmms, didnt go school today because of a ear infection. Something inside my ear is swollen and infected, and when i open my mouth, its fucking pain. Haha..

Went to ton with hubby and his friends on friday, watched him play DOTA for a few thousand hours, than went to eat and went to see him play pool for another thousand hours. And, while we were at the lan shop, when hubby was bringing me down the stairs, he DIDNT hold my hands and caused me to slip and fall down around 7 steps and now my ass HURTS! x( He still can laugh at me, break my heart! Humpf. Accompanied hubby til around 7+ am than headed home. Sat a fucking cab that brought my all the way to stirling rd when i said i wanted to go hougang ave 6. Stirling road and hougang ave 6 got BIG difference ok! Want eat my money than say lahhh! So in the end, the uncle restart the meter but still, when i reached my destination, it still cost me a bomb! i paid $9 when i could have actually pay $6+ only. Teeheehee.

Went to the gym after school yesterday with rebekah and mickey yesterday. Did lotsa exercise and lost lots of calories, but apparently, i put them all back because i eat lotsa rubbish when i came back. Waste of my energy lah! But shall be going back there some time soon.

Hais, hubby is still sleeping, time now is 3.46pm and his school starts at 11am. Damn power la..he`s not scared his school would try to expel him again. Hmms, actually i dont even know if he is sleeping or avoiding me. Things between us now is really strained, really stressed over our r/s. Hais..I`m always crying over him but yet, he doesnt seem to care much anymore. His words of care and concerns are getting lesser day by day and his calls and msges are getting lesser and lesser too. I cant help but wonder if he has another girl out there. He can treat me real nice one moment, showering all his love on me but the next moment, he can treat me like as though i dont exsist. He just seems so busy with everything nowadays but just now busy with me. He always tells me he loves me, but yet he doesnt do anything to show me he loves me. Actions speaks louder than words, and yet all i get from him is words words words but no actions. Sometimes, i really wanna give up everything once and for all but still, here i am struggling to hold on. I`m really tired, i have tried my best and give the best i can in this r/s but nothing seems to work anymore. Many people think we`re really loving but the true fact is we`re not. Hais.. x( Sian la..

SIAN SIAN SIANNNNN! Hais, hubby is treating me so coldly now! x( he says he isnt but if how he`s treating me now is not called cold, i really dunno what cold means. Have been thinking about all our memories in the past, be it happy or sad, but just thinking about it really makes my heart ache. Almost cried in school today but really fought hard to keep it back. Hais! I really miss the old times we had. I really miss everything, no matter wad i say, no matter wad i do, i`ll never be able to get back those times, will i? Have tried telling him many times about how i feel, but instead of getting assured by him of his love, i`ll get scolded for thinking too much. I must admit that im over possesive, but i`ve lost him once, i`m really afraid to lose him again. Nothing can describe the pains i went through those days i`ve been through without him. I have been keeping everything inside me, and not telling him what my im feeling because im afraid of getting scolded by him. So what if i was just thinking too much? Couldnt he at least comfort me? I cry for him everynight and i dont think i can stand the pain any longer. 'Just give up' many people have told me, how am i suppose to give up our r/s, its not one month we`re talking about, its a ONE year r/s, how am i suppose to end everything just like that? There are many things holding me back, and im still with him for the main reason that i still love him. I really dunno what will happen to me without him by my side. Cant you* see how impt you are to me now? Hais, i really want the past we have back. We were so so loving, dont you miss it too? Hais.. Do you know that if im sad because of you or angry with you, just ONE msg or a call of concern from you can really brighten up my day? Everytime my phone vibrates with a msg or a call, i always hope its you? I really need you alot, dont you understand? Its not the 3 words i love you i wanna hear or see, i wanna feel it from you. Whats the use of those 3 words if its said without meaning it? I can always say i love you but can dont mean it you understand what im trying to say here? Pls hubby, i dont need your time anymore, i just want your love, care and concern. I used to feel so secure with you, but now i dont. Why is it so? Hais.. NVM BAHS! x( Just typing my thoughts here. Hais, i just miss everything, i even miss the old you. =(

Siannn! Thats so much for me to do yet so little time. Gotta faster finish up my f&n coursework which is due on friday and execution is tomorrow! Everything is just so rush and im not ready! x(

Hmms, haven`t been blogging for long either because im lazy or im just too busy. Everything is going on well between me and hubby, we`re not meeting as much as previously but i guess i`ll get used to it soon. We`re meeting once a week now, if he`s got time, we`ll meet twice and thats all. I guess that not meeting so much now might be good because my exams are approaching and i`ll have to get used to not meeting him for straight 7-10 days. So yeahh, it might be good for the two of us, i can use this period of time to get used to not sticking to him too much and he`ll also get his freedom. I havent really learnt what 'Pull and let go' is but hubby says the 'special' feelings he had for me in the holidays is coming back and he says he misses me most of the time. Don`t know if he is saying it just to make me happy but i`ll trust him. Hahs . I really cant believe i can come this far with him. One year may not be very long for me because my sisters and their BFs have already been tgt for two years plus but thinking that hubby used to be a big flirt in the past, being with him for 1 year plus is indeed very long for him. And have i said that im his longest GF? but compared to all his ex girlfriends, im the one with the worst attitude. Haha! Sounds wierd but LOOK @@ we`ve gone this FARRRRRRRRRRR! TAHAHA.. Samantha`s got the POWERRRR! x)) Oh oh oh, i love my husband MARCUS FOO TOON CHENG! <33

Hubby,
I know that saying this know is too late cause we`re way past the 26th of march which was our ONE year anniversary but im really glad that i`ve come this far with you, i never expected it. I thought we`ll just last 4-6 months and that`s all, but hey, you`ve proven me wrong ehs? Now, i really wanna last more than 10 years with you! x) You wont xian me fan bahs? Hehs. Thou we arent meeting so much now, i hope feelings between us wont fade, okay? I`ve put all my heart, love and trust into our relationship so you wont disappoint me right? Anyways, really wanna thank you for showing me what love is, holding my hands whenever we`re at crowded places so i`ll not get lost, being there for me when im sad or when im at a lost, being the one that care for me when im sick and lastly, GETTING RID OF YOUR DAMN FLIRTING HABIT! x)) I really love you for your everythingggg! Love you lots baby! Muacks! <3

Here are some photos of hubby! x) My most precious and most beloved. No snatching ehs.. =)




Yeah yeah, so loving i know! haha.. BYE BYE!

I LOVE MARCUS FOO! \(^-^)/ YAY!

Its a saturday and i`m at home. Hubby`s ah gong is coming back today so we can`t meet =(. Owells, went all the way to yishun with hubby, daqiu and his GF. Watched ice age 2. Not as nice as i thought, but i still enjoyed myself cause i was with hubby! x) Teeheehee. Hubby treated me very very well yesterday. While we were in the cinema, he took off his black colour long sleeve shirt for me because the cinema was so freaking cold and it was raining too! [note. he has another shirt inside]so so touched even thou he always does that to me but because of our strained relationship recently, i really felt so touched! Teeheehee, the feeling i had yesterday was like the one i had back last year during the november and december holidays whereby we were almost inseparable and you would NEVER see one of us without the other.I had that feeling yesterday and i was practically flying up to cloud ninth! Really wanna feel like this forever but it doesnt happen when im not with him, i dont know why i like to stick with him so much, perhaps i really like that feeling he gives me? I dont know! Just so in love in him! <333

So siannnnn ah. I wanna buy many many things, clothes, perfume and more clothes. x( but i only have less than $10. SO broke! Siannnn! I want work so i can have lots and lots of money! Anyone got any job intro? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, fuck it. Sucks to be broke!

BYE BYE! I love my hubby and it sucks to be broke! x) bye